Simply Stacy

Gratitude

I have decided with this being Thanksgiving week, it would be a great time to assess my life and share some of thethings that make me grateful.  Not just the normal, broad subjects like family and home, but much more specific.  So hear goes.

I am thankful for...

Freedom to worship or not to worship how we chose.  Not only for the governmental freedom, that so many have fought to protect, but the freedom that my God gives each of us to choose to follow Him.  If He took that choice and made it mandatory to worship Him, it just would not hold the meaning that it does when it is my choice to follow Him.  He allows me the choice and I chose, daily, to walk with Him.  It is something that I feel called to do, and that calling comes from my wonderful Savior. 

Food that is readily available to us.  At times, I complain that we don't have anything to eat in the house, when realistically we could eat for weeks on the boxes, cans and bags in our pantry and freezer.  It may not be the most appetizing of meals, but starve, we would not.  We venture out for quick meals when there's no time and there is always store calling my hubby in to grab a Mt. Dew and a quick snack.  Then when there is more time, we go out for sit down meals around another's table and let them do all of the preparations, cooking and clean up.  I am so glad that I can say and I am almost certain that my husband can say that we have never truly been hungry.  I hope that we can share that wealth.

The total and unbridled love of my children.  Not to say that there aren't times that they look at me like they wish I would totally disappear from the face of this earth, usually following statements like "Go clean your room" or "It's homework time."  But there are also times that they will, each in their own unique way, communicate how much they love me.  Charlie is more direct by saying what he feels.  He says at least ten times a day, "Mama, I love you."  But just this weekend, he looked me right in the eyes and said, "You are the best Mama I could ever have."  That's the love that I am talking about.  Britt is much more subtle.  I catch him watching me when I didn't know he is looking and his smile when I see him so reminds me of Pat.  He is just admiring me for me, ignoring the fact that my hair is a mess, I still have on PJs and I have yet to sit down and play that game with them yet.  He is patiently waiting because deep down he knows that he owns my heart.  And I think that I have a pretty portion of his too.

That I get to pay back in a small way the great things that the veterans of this country have done for us.  When I walk the halls of this VA Hospital, I feel like bowing and thanking them for their sacrifices.  Because in one way or another, they all made sacrifices.  And the most amazing thing about it, most are too humble to accept praise for it. 

I hope to keep sharing these as the week continues.  The boys are out of school all week so I am sure there will be some stories to be shared as well. 

I have been thinking lately; I know, I know...I usually end up in left field when I think too much.  Stay with me because this time it may actually make sense. Well at least it does to me.

I ran into a friend in a store one of the days following the storm.  Now this is one of my good friends, that I wish we could see more of but because of time and schedules we only meet in passing at church or ballgames.  We were talking about the storm and thank goodness the lack of damage.  In the middle of the conversation she made the statement, "I will always remember what you said.  I don't even know if you remember it..." 

Now this kind of statement always makes me a little worrisome.  Why?  Well, when I think of the statements that I remember other people saying, the ones that I would ALWAYS remember, are usually not the run of the mill joke or mundane comment.  They have struck a nerve, connected, whether that be good or bad. 

Now when she told me what it was that brought up the other category that I hadn't even thought considered.  It did make a connection.  It wasn't bad, thank goodness, but it was one of those random pop off comments that I am so good at making.  I was something that I admitted that she said that she would never have the courage to say. 

After we parted ways, I was thinking about how what we say can effect other people.  I have always been good at talking but no so much at filtering that talk.  Most of the time, if I think it, I say it.  I have gotten better over the years, especially after having kids.  I never realized how many things that I say can sound so horrible coming back to me from the mouth of a child.  Now I am not talking about the biggies, just things like Shut Up.  But I digress.

I wonder how many things I have said have made an impression?  I know I carry a few impressions of other people around with me.  I just hope that the ones I make in the world are positive.

Oh, and by the way the statement that I made to my friend was that hurricanes are always exciting to me.  There's this energy that is brought with them.  (Even Katrina couldn't change that.  I still feel that way.)  This was said while standing outside of our church the night before Katrina hit while working to check in the people who were evacuating to our newly set up Red Cross Shelter. 

Now playing Left Field...

Too much time on the road means too much time thinking usually.  Although, occasionally it can mean too much coffee and/or too much food.  Being that I commute 3 hours a day (that's round trip), there always seems to be too much time on the road. 

To be quite honest I get some really good thinking done usually.  From praying to God, thinking about where I am going in life, about how I can be a better mother/wife to what's for dinner and the endless to do list, and the random I wonder if... 

This last category tends to take over when I am really tired.  I start down a sensible path and end up way out in left field and no one is there to reel me back in.  So sometimes I just hang out there awhile. 

Take for instance this morning.  I started off with a prayer and ended up stopped on the exit ramp looking at a guy with a sign like this:

Now, I know what you are thinking...she started with prayer, she is going to help him.  Nope, you couldn't be farther from what happened.  I am scared of scary looking, homeless guys on the side of the interstate much less when they are four feet from your car when you are sitting still at the stop sign. 

Now before I go any farther, I do help the homeless just not directly.  I give to our community pantry and I donate clothes for a shelter in Jackson.  I also give to a homeless veteran fund at the VA where I work.  I just don't think that it is smart for a woman by herself to try and help directly.  Not in these crazy times.

So I am looking at this man's sign, which isn't the one above, but is well written like it, and I am thinking...where did he get the marker to write that sign?  I am an educated woman with a good income who can never find a Sharpie when I need one.  I have to use them at work, and still they are never around when I need one.  But the homeless guy on the corner found one?  Do they issue people Sharpies when they come to repossess their houses?  Sorry your homeless, here go make a sign.

These are the kinds of things that ramble around in my head.  It is not often that I share them because quite frankly, I am scared that if the wrong people were to find out how left field my thinking is at times, they would consider me to be a candidate for the psych ward.  Not that I haven't been there...but that's a story for another day.

Every five years or so...

I look back on my life and I have a good laugh.  That is one of my favorite lyrics (written by Emily Saliers of the Indigo Girls).  There are times in life where you feel the shift take place.  Both boys going off to school was it for me this time.  I no longer have toddlers.  It's official now; no more denying it. 

I sat down last night before I left for work and updated the calendar.  It had gotten to be too much for Pat and I to keep up with in our heads and too many separate sheets of paper to fit on the refrigerator.  So the calendar was updated with all of the soccer practices, soccer games, school parties, boy scouts, birthday parties, and what ever else landed on there.  It seems really busy.  Too busy.  But I remember a time when I sat in my living room holding my newborn child, envious of a friend who was talking about all of her children's commitments...see the above list for examples.  I couldn't wait to get there.  Now that I am here how does that feel?  Hectic?  Yes.  Fun?  Yes.  Right where I want to be?  Yes.

But I do miss the days where we just sat on the back porch watching them play in the backyard.  No homework, no activities to attend.  Just our little family.  We still have those days and we make it a point to do it as much as possible.  I realize that it will only get busier and busier.  But who says you have to be at home to spend time together...Wendy's has tables right?  (Don't freak out..that's not the only time we sit down together to eat.)

So I guess it is a good time to look back on preschool years of my boys' lives and reflect.  Here's some of what I have learned from them so far: 

1. You cannot get silly string off of vinyl siding once it has dried.

2. No matter how hard you try not to laugh, you will at least smile at their wrong doings if it is cute enough.

3. They will use the above smile against you in the long run.

4. If there is a mud puddle within walking distance, they are in it. No matter what you say.

5. Wounds heal and blood comes out of clothes.

6. A child crying doesn't bother you, but YOUR child crying can make you certifiably crazy.

7. Hearing your child sing Twinkle Twinkle over a baby monitor is much more charming at 1 PM than at 1 AM.

8. Sometimes the only veggie you can squeeze into a day is ketchup and that is okay.

9. Not over reacting when they fall as toddlers is not a natural response, it is learned.

10. Getting little boys to help with chores is more about challenging than asking.  For example, oh no honey these grocery bags are much too heavy for you...

11.  But more than anything I have learned that being a mom is the hardest, yet greatest thing I have ever done.  I love it!

Happy Birthday to me,

Happy Birthday to me,

Happy Birthday dear me,

Happy Birthday to me.

I am thirty seven today and do I feel it?  Yes and no.  Mentally, well that would be the no.  I still feel like telling children to stop calling me mam, although the urge is somewhat less than it was at say 23.  I still look at things of this world with wonder just like I did when I was a child, or a younger woman.  I still run and play with my kids.  I even can still do a back dive.  May not be as pretty as it once was, but I still have it! 

However, that leads me to the yes part.  I have had a back and neck ache all weekend and I think it is just God's way of saying...don't get ahead of yourself there missy.  You are not the young chic you used to be, take it easy and let the younger ones have their day.  Or maybe I just slept wrong.  Anyway, my back is much better and my neck only hurts when I turn my head all the way to the left.  So don't walk up on my left and expect me to recognize you unless it is by voice only. 

Gotta get to work.

Later.

Ever get restless?

I am talking about the big kind of restless.  Not just a little antsy about what to do for the weekend, or what to cook for company.  I mean lifestyle restless.  Surely, I can't be the only one.

I look at my life and it is great.  I mean REALLY great.  I have a wonderful family, whom I love dearly.  I have a house that isn't the biggest in the world but hey, it is plenty big for now.  We have land on the river where I love to spend time camping or just hanging out and swimming.  I have a good job for which I am fairly well compensated.  I have a wonderful church with a church family that helps me grow in my walk with the Lord.  I have really close friends that share in my life in so many ways.  So what is missing?

Ever so often I get this feeling like there is something missing.  Not all of the time but every now and then I feel I have a purpose that I am not fulfilling.  I don't know what it is or to what it pertains.  I just feel there is something more that I should be doing. 

But when would I do it anyway?  I would definately have to cut something out in order to add something else.  (Please let it be work!)  I usually just wait it out and it subsides.  Maybe when the time is right I will figure out what it is.  Til then I will continue doing what I do...  

May I say it again?  My life is great!

Later.

From Becki's Blog...

What was I doing 10 years ago?
I was in Med Tech school no doubt enjoying my last summer free of work.

Five Snacks I Enjoy
~Brownies with plenty of gooey icing
~Reece's Big Cups - more PB!
~Chips especially Doritos
~Fresh fruit
~Coffee - does that count as a snack?

Five Things On My To Do List Today
~Laundry
~Play with the boys
~Pack stuff for our trip to the water park tomorrow
~Call and make the boys' a dentist appointment
~Call and make me a hair appointment

Things I would do if I were a billionaire:
~Quit work
~Pay off all bills
~Build a house with a huge scrapbook room fully stocked and a pool
~Throw almost all of my clothes away and get a new wardrobe
~Buy a big boat and travel the world with my guys

Five jobs that I have had:
1. UPS loader.  I did drive sometimes
2. Typesetter and proofer for an ad newspaper
3. Waitress
4. Solderer- I put the wires on the little speakers that go inside computers - that's what motivated me to return to college
5. Medical Technologist

Five of my bad habits:
1. Smoking
2. Junk Food
3. Buying notebooks/journals - I must have 15 laying around right now...they shouldn't make them so cute
4. Putting off housework
5. Over committing

Five places I have lived:
1. McComb, Mississippi
2. Columbus, Mississippi
3. Brookhaven, Mississippi
4. Clinton, Mississippi
5. Houma, Louisiana

6 Random Things:
1. I love music, all kinds
2. I can play video games for hours on end 
3. I have a real soft spot for dogs
4. I believe in the wisdom of elders and love talking to them.
5. I have a strong commitment to bettering myself for the betterment of my children.
6. I love to be outside in the sun in the summer, preferably in water so it is not so hot.